I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
