I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'