For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.