IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?