I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.