When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.