i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.