Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
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We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school