great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again