Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.