Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
literally had 100 drinks last night.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me