Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".