my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking