Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.