I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
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Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.