It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Also, beer. Big fan.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness