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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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