I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
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Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
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