Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.