SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.