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it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
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