he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry my hands just texted you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero