You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.