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You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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