Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(