How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
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The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?