Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.