Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (530)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust http://tfl.nu/l0ps
  Replies (10) Good night (3529) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Those balls look pretty dangerous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Those balls look pretty dangerous. http://tfl.nu/vdt4
  Replies (6) Good night (2796) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger. http://tfl.nu/azyx
  Replies (8) Good night (1222) Bad night (5716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children. http://tfl.nu/7iz1
  Replies (109) Good night (866) Bad night (2763) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (582) Bad night (2408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Fat chicks shouldn't bartend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Fat chicks shouldn't bartend http://tfl.nu/r18g
  Replies (245) Good night (809) Bad night (3525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant http://tfl.nu/6mtv
  Replies (17) Good night (3153) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

  (1-530): View more from California

  just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

  (530): View more from California

  yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl
  Replies (44) Good night (879) Bad night (4788)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
  Replies (33) Good night (2346) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/48s1
  Replies (58) Good night (3432) Bad night (7600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): 1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details. http://tfl.nu/vtyc
  Replies (34) Good night (1852) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  How is Miami?

  (954): View more from Florida

  Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): How is Miami? (954): Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln http://tfl.nu/e6r8
  Replies (11) Good night (1335) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake http://tfl.nu/i8af
  Replies (27) Good night (1322) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt