she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often