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I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
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