Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you told grandpa to call you daddy
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.