I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
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Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...