i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.