I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying