i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.