While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.