I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?