who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?