Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!