Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?