She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.