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I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
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