It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.