I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair