I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.