the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid