You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you