You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.