Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.