I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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