I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
