You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night