No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...