Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (315)

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  (315): View more from New York

  New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..

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  (315): New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own.. http://tfl.nu/1bvs
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  Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought

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  Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss

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  (315): Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought (1-315): Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss http://tfl.nu/2a6b
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  Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack

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  This is why I love you...

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  (315): Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack (1-315): This is why I love you... http://tfl.nu/jq03
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  Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire

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  (315): Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire http://tfl.nu/4zum
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  She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her

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  (315): She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her http://tfl.nu/g7bc
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  What is your life?

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  A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.

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  (781): What is your life? (315): A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/196i
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (114)
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  On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.

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  (315): On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties. http://tfl.nu/tf8z
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  In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

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  (315): In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me http://tfl.nu/ug28
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  My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.

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  (315): My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair. http://tfl.nu/70uu
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  I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.

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  (315): I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me. http://tfl.nu/d1qj
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  My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?

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  (315): My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero? http://tfl.nu/se5g
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (188)
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  I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

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  (315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai
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  That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.

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  Who is this?!????

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  That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.

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  (518): That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook. (315): Who is this?!???? (518): That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger. http://tfl.nu/487m
  Replies (7) Good night (2866) Bad night (254)
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  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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  (315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo
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  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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  (315): Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal? http://tfl.nu/b8jf
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