Last Night in Nebraska (308)

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”

  (206): View more from Washington

  Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  The strangest confirmation message ever sent.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Are you calling me a bad decision?

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.

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