put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it