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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She needs sedatives and a leash
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
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