Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"