you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.