My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.